Fallen Short
It hurts.
I still remember my excitement when I saw my 5th years coming back from an exchange. Since then I had harboured a desire to go for an exchange. You can say it was a little boy's dream. Over the years the desire only strengthened when I learned about these foreign universities and their methods of teaching.
I have a chance to go for an exchange to the top school in Canada. I was selected on the basis of my last year's GPA which was considerably higher than my current GPA. However, it comes at a great cost. If I go, I will miss a probably important internship and 16 credits to pull my GPA. I decided not to go since I could go in my 5th year as well.
But then an extremely vital fact crawled in my slow brain. I can't go in my 5th year. I can't go because my GPA for this year has dropped below the cut-off mark. It comes as a shocking reality.
For a long time I craved to be judged absolutely and not relatively. One time it is being done and I have fallen short of the crossing line. I truly have fallen. In my 4th year there are few external circumstances which stop me from going but in my 5th year I will not be able to go because of an internal handicap. I reach the finishing line and I am confronted with a NO ENTRY SIGN. Reminds me of Kafka.
Strange na my friend. After a long time, you were asked to show what you were worth irrespective of what other's worth are. And yet, you came really short.
It is a joke. And yes, it hurts. :)
Labels: disappointment, joke